Twenty years ago, when I was pastoring up in Maine, I met a young woman by the name of Laura Frey. She was an “All-American girl.” Loved her parents, honor roll, athletic, and didn’t get in trouble. She was respected by her peers and loved by her family. One day, not long after getting her driver’s license, Laura was heading home from field hockey practice when she had a car accident. A witness later said that they saw her reaching for something on the floor behind the passenger seat. Apparently, there was a CD that she wanted to play. When she stretched to reach it, however, the car drifted onto the soft shoulder. Not being an experienced driver, Laura overreacted and turned sharply left. She lost control, hit a tree, and died. She was only seventeen years old.
The funeral was hard. At the time, I had both sixteen-and eighteen-year-old sons. Laura fell right in between, which made me think this could have been my daughter. As difficult as it was to officiate the service, I was doing okay until I had to read a letter. You see, her dad was unable to speak (understandably so) and instead wrote a letter to his daughter which I then read. “Dear Laura, I was so proud to be your father…” it began. I was doing okay until about halfway through when I stopped. I just had to pause and back up from the pulpit or I was going to lose control. It was such a beautiful letter and obvious how much this father loved his little girl. I got through it but clearly, two decades later, I have not forgotten.
I mention this because as we start a new year, we often have goals we set for ourselves. Lose weight, stop drinking, smoking, go to church more often, pray and read my Bible more regularly, eat healthier, exercise, etc. All good objectives and I encourage you to meet your goals. I also would like to add one. Make sure you treasure those you love and let them know how precious they are to you.
Jesus’ brother James writes, “Look here, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.’ How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog – it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:13-14).
It’s true. None of us know how much time we have here on earth. I say this not to depress or sadden you. Rather, to remind you (myself as well) not to wait for a funeral, to tell someone how special they are to you. I don’t know if Laura’s dad said to her face the things he wrote in his letter. My impression is he did. But I do know, not all of us do. For some reason, we just think there will always be a tomorrow. When, in reality, tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us.
As I write this, January 17th, it is my mom’s birthday. She turns eighty-five today. Happy birthday, mom. I am so blessed to have a mom like mine. I am also blessed to still have a dad, stepmom, and two inlaws who are all in their eighties and still living. Few people my age can say that. I’m sure my mom knows I love her, and I certainly know she loves me. She tells me all the time. I also try to tell my three sons and my wife how much I love them too. I know there are times when we will all drive each other crazy. We’re human. Which means we make mistakes, say, and do stupid things. But do not let that fester. Ask for forgiveness. Seek reconciliation as soon as possible. Paul tells us, “Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry” (Ephesians 4:26). Because none of us know what tomorrow brings or if there even is a tomorrow in store for us.
It is a lesson I was reminded of the hard way twenty years ago. However, today I can say, “Dear Laura, thank you for reminding me how important it is to treasure those you love and let them know how beloved they are to me. One day when my tomorrow begins in heaven, I
look forward to seeing you again and thanking you in person.”
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Remember you can email praises and petitions to southchurchprayer@gmail.com. I lift them up every Wednesday at 4:00 pm on Facebook Live.